"I found this to be by far the best Marriage Enrichment curriculum available in the marketplace today." -- Alison Crews, M.S. (Counselor, Family Life Educator)

6 Comments on “Bitterness: Love’s Quiet Killer”

  1. Edna Southard
    You really have a very good article here regarding how to save a relationship. Your advises and tips here are very in the discussion of real things that could in real life for couples. Yes, this will surely help me as my guide in how to save a relationship when time comes when I will be marrying someone someday. I know through this blog there are lots should I learned and keep on learning. Thanks and keep on sharing this one to us!
  2. Nae anna
    My problem is a little different. My husband loves his family ( brother, sister, friends) more than he loves me. He spends all his time with them. I mean all his time. He comes home at night to eat have sex and sleep. I'm on the back burner at all times. Every now and than we go out to eat with each other, not often. He acts like he dont want to be with me except for sex. He watches porn and i dont like that . I am a asst. pastor at my church an i want my home to be Godly. He was saved at one time then he backslid and my marriage has gone down hill every since. I know i have become bitter because of this situation, and i have ask God and my husband to forgive me. I have tried to sit down and talk about this with him but his reply is always i just have one and one sister left. (He had 8 brothers and sister but they are all gone except two). He makes me feel like he can get another wife but not siblins. what do you suggest i do
    • christianlovers
      Blessings Nae anna; We have a CD called "Coping With the Unsaved Mate" http://www.clarencewalkerministries.com In a backslidden condition it will give you some ideas on dealing with a person who has turned away from God. That is an issue you can be praying about because spiritually you are not on the same page. It is good that you are aware of walking in forgiveness, it is hard but you will have to do this on a regular basis. Another issue you have is the porn, it creates a greater gap between a man and a woman. The other issue is his over-focus on his family. See if he would agree to some consistent time for your relationship. Like a weekly date night, a quarterly get away. There are some core issues going on but we will pray with you first of all that he will return to the Lord. Only he can give him the strength to over porn and a desire to love you the way he should.
  3. jenisha H
    I am so glad to have come across this site, I have read your article on leaving, cleaving and becoming one aswell, I feel as if both were personally written for my situation. I can honestly tell you this is like a light in a dark tunnel. I have been experiencing a lot of marital issues with my husband the "Mommas boy" syndrome and the bitterness it has created between himself and me. I am so close to just throwing in the towel and divorcing him. His family (his mom especially) has always had a strong hold over him and our marriage. (She is a Christian woman) She constantly degrades me for no apparent reason, and my husband fights with me for all the things she tells him-as if she brain washers him. I resent her because of it. My husband saw her true colours come out to play, and she caused a lot of hurt and pain for us, so he broke off all contact with her, and I can tell you those past few months have been the best, we excelled in everything together, we achieved so much. Now she is back in the picture and everything is falling apart again, I'm so tired of fighting and arguing with him, I've come to a point where she (mother in law) can have him. I'm not being nasty but life would be better if she died. My marriage is in turmoil because of her, and it will end because of her. My husband says I'm restricting him from seeing his family, by keeping him away from them, but it was a decision we both made to stay away from them, I'm not shifting blame but he was adamant about it and said they were poison. But recently he has contacted her and visited her, and his siblings, he went to see them without me, he didn't ask if I wanted to go. (he probably knew I wouldn't go anyway) I can forgive his family but it doesn't mean I must let them near me or be in contact with them. Does it? Now all we do us fight because of his family, he wants to see them more often, he told me blood is thicker than water (similar to what poster Nae Anna mentioned) he can get another wife but he can't get another mother or father. I told him how I feel, neglected, unloved, disrespected, he lacks affection towards me, but he doesn't care about my feelings or what I say. He keeps saying that's his family he needs them. I tried talking to him on several occasions, it results in yelling and swearing, even if I speak calmly and say the right words.
    • christianlovers
      Blessings Jenisha; So sorry to hear the issues going on. I think it is better if you do not go around his family. See if you can negotiate some regular time with him. A date night, regular prayer time and work on building your relationship with him. Make the time you have with him positive, fun, stop arguing about his family. Stop comparing what he does for them with what he does for you. Do not restrict his time with them. Work on forgiving him and his family so you can be a vessel of love and peace. Focus the rest of your time on building your relationship with God, find out what your purpose is, your ministry, your calling and get working on that. It will fill your life with something else more meaningful and will begin to fill the empty space up in your heart. Take care of you, look good, be full of the joy of the LOrd and go about your business. Check out my book on Amazon - The Eight Powers of A Woman' by JaOla Walker. It gives you ways to influence them men in your life. Peace. Pastor JaOia

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